Eve BarlowInstagram1d
A vastly more personal post than I usually share. For the last three years, I’ve felt a pull towards the Arava desert to watch the sun set on my thirties. In my early twenties, I fell in love with the craters and sand dunes of Mitzpe Ramon one night. I remember feeling the sheer insignificance of my life against the enormity of the universe. And somehow, in that insignificance, I found the power of infinite possibility. I felt a spark to throw caution to the wind and chase my dreams. Because why the fuck not? And I did. I chased them around every corner. Returning almost twenty years later, with my oldest and bestest friend, was the only way I wanted to turn 40. We watched the sunrise. After a day of luxury in Shaharut, we went out into the desert with an astronomer to trace the night sky. Among the stars and constellations, we found Vega, Polaris and Taurus. And through a telescope, we saw Saturn. An actual planet out there in our solar system, hanging there in the darkness, impossibly beautiful. And I felt it all over again. Go for it all. Live beyond expectations. My thirties were hard. I gave a lot away. But under those stars, Ben told me his favourite thing about me was the size of my heart. I think I needed to hear that. I’m starting my fifth decade as I mean to go on: with my heart wide open, my dreams intact, and a renewed sense of just how much is possible. The universe is incomprehensibly vast. Our time here is absurdly short. At 40, I’m not starting from scratch. I’m starting from everything I’ve lived through, everything I’ve loved, everything I’ve lost, and everything I still want. I came back to the desert to say goodbye to my thirties. Instead, somewhere between the sunrise and Saturn, I found my way back to the girl who first looked up at this sky and thought: why the fuck not? She was onto something. (Thank you to my Israel family for making this week out of this world 💕)
